Healing a Broken Heart
Time Commitment: As long as it needs
I'm here with you and your broken heart.
I have had my heart broken and have broken my own heart many, many times.
A broken heart can be felt in romantic, platonic, family, societal, or pet relationships. It can show up as sadness, pain, grief, sorrow, depression, anxiety, to name a few.
Please be gentle with your heart during this time.
Be gentle with YOU.
Treat yourself as precious as a flower.
There is no easy quick way to mend a broken heart.
Here is my collection of support that has guided my journey.
The order is important.
Skipping steps may result in starting the process again or prolonging your healing journey.
Please click and listen to each purple button before move on the to the steps below.
Take your Time & Work Through
Healing a broken heart needs time. There is no set time frame. Please understand and accepted this as part of the process. Go through the steps of grieving because it is a loss that deserves cradling in your love, care, and attention.
This is a hard and challenging one. Often, we can turn to outside distractions such as food, work, drugs, alcohol, gossiping, complaining, or social media. As much as these give temporary relief until you take the time to feel, it will prolong and suppress your feelings.
Cry and be sad without distractions. Allow your body to feel all that may come up. Do this as often and as long as you need. Remember, you can't rush your healing. It is non-linear. This may take months or years. You heal in your souls time frame, not your own.
3. No Contact
It is imperative that you cut off all contact for a minimum of six months. All social media.
Delete. Unfollow. Unfriend. Unsubscribe.
Block with communication. You are doing so. Ghosting is bluntly disrespectful.
All visual reminders need to be discarded or returned. No contact means NO CONTACT.
This is a necessary step before you can move forward. There are no excuses if you want to move forward. No exceptions.
What if I get a "I miss you." or "I love you." text?
Here's an article of what to write with a few examples below:
Hey, it’s been a while. What’s up?
I was thinking about you the other day. What made you reach out?
Hi. What made you say that?
Hi, it’s okay to miss an ex, but the breakup needed to happen.
Hey, what exactly do you miss?
4. Write, Burn, & Cut
Write an unhinged letter to your person or pet. Write out everything you want to say or wanted to say. No filter. No editing. Just you, paper, pen, and all your feelings. Write your letter on paper. Pour your soul onto a page.
Create a Burning Ceremony
Now, read the letter out loud and safely burn the letter. Watch your letter burn. There is something therapeutic in the act.
Here's how to do a ceremony. Click here.
After you have burned your letter and safely and honorably discarded the ashes. Please do a cord cutting guided meditation. Click here and here.
5. Get Support
Reach out to a neutral support person. A tarot reader, a life coach, energy healer, and/or therapist. Do the work to guide you on. Friends or family are often helpful and destructive in healing. Our close people have criticism, judgment, and their own biases that may cloud your process with their thoughts.
If you do want to convey your experience of a broken heart with your close people, share your process of doing your own self-work. Drop the expectations that they will heal you. Let a trained professional support you. We don't have to deal with it on our own. Dealing with it in your own will avoid delays in the process.
Focus on daily tasks to care for your basic needs. Get up, shower, move your body, dance, call a friend, clean up. Do whatever you need.
7. Look at You
Look at what you learned from your person.
Look at your love language and attachment style and how that played in the relationship.
Look at your values now for relationships. You can do that here.
Look at your contributions to the break-up. Own it.