Take your Time & Work Through

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1. Time
Healing a broken heart needs time. There is no set time frame. Please understand and accepted this as part of the process. Go through the steps of grieving because it is a loss that deserves cradling in your love, care, and attention.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Feel
This is a hard and challenging one. Often, we can turn to outside distractions such as food, work, drugs, alcohol, gossiping, complaining, or social media. As much as these give temporary relief until you take the time to feel, it will prolong and suppress your feelings.

Cry and be sad without distractions. Allow your body to feel all that may come up. Do this as often and as long as you need. Remember, you can't rush your healing. It is non-linear. This may take months or years. You heal in your souls time frame, not your own.

3. No Contact
It is imperative that you cut off all contact for a minimum of six months. All social media.

Delete. Unfollow. Unfriend. Unsubscribe.

Block with communication. You are doing so. Ghosting is bluntly disrespectful.

All visual reminders need to be discarded or returned. No contact means NO CONTACT.

This is a necessary step before you can move forward. There are no excuses if you want to move forward. No exceptions.

 

What if I get a "I miss you." or "I love you." text?

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Here's an article of what to write with a few examples below:

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1. Hey, it’s been a while. What’s up?

2. I was thinking about you the other day. What made you reach out?

3. Hi. What made you say that?

4. Hi, it’s okay to miss an ex, but the breakup needed to happen.

5. Hey, what exactly do you miss?

4. Write, Burn, & Cut
Write an unhinged letter to your person or pet. Write out everything you want to say or wanted to say. No filter. No editing. Just you, paper, pen, and all your feelings. Write your letter on paper. Pour your soul onto a page.

Create a Burning Ceremony
Now, read the letter out loud and safely burn the letter. Watch your letter burn. There is something therapeutic in the act.

Here's how to do a ceremony. Click here.

Cord Cutting
After you have burned your letter and safely and honorably discarded the ashes. Please do a cord cutting guided meditation. Click here and here.

5. Get Support
Reach out to a neutral support person. A tarot reader, a life coach, energy healer, and/or therapist. Do the work to guide you on. Friends or family are often helpful and destructive in healing. Our close people have criticism, judgment, and their own biases that may cloud your process with their thoughts.

If you do want to convey your experience of a broken heart with your close people, share your process of doing your own self-work. Drop the expectations that they will heal you. Let a trained professional support you. We don't have to deal with it on our own. Dealing with it in your own will avoid delays in the process.

6. Focus
Focus on daily tasks to care for your basic needs. Get up, shower, move your body, dance, call a friend, clean up. Do whatever you need.

7. Look at You

• Look at what you learned from your person.

• Look at your love language and attachment style and how that played in the relationship.

• Look at your values now for relationships. You can do that here.

• Look at your contributions to the break-up. Own it.

8. Learn to Love & Support Yourself
Practice radical self-love, respect, kindness, and care. Acknowledge how awesome you are for doing all this work. Learn how to self soothe. Learn and practice learning the language of how your body feels. Click here for a list of somatic sensations to become familiar with.

9. Reconnect to Joy
When was the last time you felt joy on your own?

No judgment if it's been a long time. It's ok. You are here now to return to your joy.

Do the Imaginary Lives activity by clicking here.

 

10. Share your Process

I love hearing from you.  Please share your process with me.  I am here with you.

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Additional Resources

Here are some resources of Content Creators that supported me on my healing journey. 

Here are the links to their content:

Matthew Hussey

The Love Drive

Mat Boggs

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deeploveology

Mel Robbins

The School of Life

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Psych2GO

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